White Socks, Black Shoes

Coming soon, Dave Schilling & Nathan Jordan bring you the story of 2 men, bound by a common love of modeling, torn apart by their complete lack of talent.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03BBpy0pQdc&feature=player_embedded

Mario in the Morning: The Bad Dudes

2010-10-01T16:33:00.000-07:00

Episode 4 features your's truly. A real bad dude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnrslvIzP0k

Mario in the Morning: Master Chief

2010-09-12T12:25:00.000-07:00

He's back. Check out episode 2!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cD9SqnMaRM4

Eazy E Spotted in Brentwood

2010-09-10T16:17:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheRealDangerShark#p/a/u/1/pwGlfrRP01s

Mario in the Morning Trailers!

2010-09-10T16:11:00.000-07:00

The Full Announcement Trailer for Season 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui2C7S22BH8

The Alternate Trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3nc4cF7WV8

Point/Counterpoint: Bad Dog!

2010-09-02T15:03:00.000-07:00

Nathan Jordan and Henry Bean match wits.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/pointcounterpoint-bad-dog-110975

This American Laugh, Episode 7

2010-08-31T16:53:00.000-07:00

We are proud to welcome our biggest guest ever! The First Daughter of Alaska, Bristol Palin, comes on the show to spar with Nathan & Dave. Will her mom run for President in 2012? Will she get back together with Levi? Will Dave totally hook up with her? Have a listen and find out!

Featuring one of LA's hottest comedic talents, Kate Mulligan!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-7-110737

LA Times Feature on Ultrahouse

2010-08-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

My Sunday, August 29th, 2010 interview with the LA Times:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ca-machinima-20100829,0,6035173.story

Step Up 3D is Going to Change the Way We Watch Dance Movies in 3D

2010-08-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

The next Avatar just might be Step Up 3-D.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/step-up-3-d-is-going-to-change-the-way-we-watch-dance-movies-in-3-d-108519

This American Laugh, Episode 6

2010-07-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

Today's episode is an informative discussion of the sexual proclivities of the modern American male. It's a frank, lively conversation with sex-pert, Dr. Carlton Edgeworth.
Featuring stand-up comic, Bob Kitson.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-6-106911

Who's the Hotshot Now, Tiger?

2010-07-15T14:57:00.000-07:00

Tiger Woods's less famous brother gloats about his new success.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/whos-the-hotshot-now-tiger-106943

Ultrahouse, Episode 2

2010-07-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

In episode 2, Commander Sethos and his band of scum square off against Scott Goodyear, a space lawman out to make a name for himself. Along for the ride is Scarlet, a gorgeous, well-intentioned you lady with a "colorful" past.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oK4meH1-F94&feature=player_embedded

I'd Drive if I Weren't a Werewolf

2010-07-12T16:13:00.001-07:00

It's not easy being a feral beast. It's pretty much impossible to get around town.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/id-drive-if-i-werent-a-werewolf-106541

Ultrahouse, Episode 1

2010-06-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

Follow the link below to my new animated/live action webseries, Ultrahouse. NSFW.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CD2Gi2M3Hs

Barknotes and Musings by Henry Bean: World Cup Edition

2010-06-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

While Nathan Jordan is off protesting the results of a paternity test, his dog, Henry Bean, will fill in as a guest columnist.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/barknotes-and-musings-world-cup-edition-105127

This American Laugh, Episode 5

2010-06-15T17:47:00.000-07:00

SPECIAL REPORT: Dave Schilling has flown out to the Gulf of Mexico to give his impressions of the BP Oil Spill!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-5-104567

A Look at the iPhone 4

2010-06-15T17:44:00.000-07:00

Nathan Jordan gives you an inside look at the phone that's guaranteed to get you at least 1 random sexual encounter this summer!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/a-look-at-the-iphone-4-104561

Eazy E Spotted at a Park Yet Again!

2010-06-11T17:58:00.000-07:00

Some dude spots a person who could very well be the one and only Eazy E!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9MhuRAJx80&feature=player_embedded

Celebutards 6/9/10

2010-06-09T13:00:00.000-07:00

If you've been wondering what Kristen Stewart, Miley Cyrus and Avatar director James Cameron have been up to, Nathan Jordan's got you covered!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/celebutards-issue-5-104131

An Open Letter to Tipper Gore

2010-06-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

Now that Al and Tipper Gore have split, Nathan Jordan can swoop in!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-tipper-gore-104061

Movie Short Bus 6/4/10

2010-06-04T14:22:00.001-07:00

Killers, Get Him to the Greek and Marmaduke all come out the same weekend. Owen Wilson, Ashton Kutcher and Russell Brand compete for most annoying voice!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/movie-short-bus-6410-103779

Celebutards 6/2/10

2010-06-02T17:22:00.000-07:00

Kanye West, Tila Tequila, Justin Bieber and Heidi Montag are just SOME of the "stars" that Nathan Jordan has in his cross-hairs this week!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/celebutards-issue-4-103567

Movie Short Bus 5/28/10

2010-05-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

The Short Bus rolls over 50 Cent, MacGruber, Sex and the City 2, Prince of Persia and more!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/movie-short-bus-52810-103289

Celebutards 5/26/10

2010-05-26T16:13:00.000-07:00

More Kim Kardashian! More Lindsay Lohan! More Courtney Love! More Nazi Jesse James!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/celebutards-issue-3-103141

This American Laugh, Episode 4

2010-05-25T15:26:00.000-07:00

Nathan and Dave and are back on the air! This week's topics include lesbian country singer Chely Wright, Ira Glass and car washing nymphomaniacs.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-4-103045

Top 10 Ways You Can Save the Earth

2010-05-25T15:22:00.000-07:00

CraveOnline Earth Sciences Correspondent Nathan Jordan takes a look at 10 practical ways that you can help save this precious home of ours.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/top-10-ways-you-can-save-the-earth-103021

Movie Short Bus 5/21/10

2010-05-21T16:04:00.001-07:00

This week, Megan Fox gets dumped from Transformers 3, Shia LaBeouf might not be so bad and Macgruber possibly doesn't suck!

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/movie-short-bus-52110-102743

Celebutards 5/20/10

2010-05-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/celebutards-issue-2-102517

Stargazing with Nathan Jordan, the Final Edition!

2010-05-18T15:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/star-gazing-with-nathan-jordan-102479

Movie Short Bus 5/14/10

2010-05-14T17:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/movie-short-bus-51410-102191

Celebutards 5/13/10

2010-05-14T17:24:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/celebutards-issue-1-102121

My Roomate Sucks

2010-05-13T12:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/my-roommate-sucks-101907

M.I.A. Totally Ripped Me Off

2010-05-06T09:19:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/mia-totally-ripped-me-off-101373

This American Laugh, Episode 3: Two Hot Chicks Making Out on the Beach

2010-04-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-3-100987

An Open Letter to My Neighbors

2010-04-26T16:13:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-my-neighbors-100927

Another Eazy E Sighting

2010-04-13T10:27:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1uADRg0BYI&feature=player_embedded

A Late-Spring Movie Preview

2010-04-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/late-spring-movie-preview-99991

This American Laugh, Episode 2: A Conversation on a Summer's Afternoon

2010-04-09T16:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-2-99919

Mario in the Morning, Episode 1

2010-04-03T15:34:00.000-07:00

They call me Donkey Kong! Check out the first episode of Danger Shark's new webseries!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy-2BQw4qW0

An Open Letter to Sandra Bullock

2010-04-03T15:28:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-sandra-bullock-99589

Danger Shark: Eazy-E Sighting at Starbucks

2010-03-31T13:33:00.000-07:00

Danger Shark lives! Hello, fans and followers (all 4 of you). Today is the premier of my comedy troupe Danger Shark. We've got all kinds of awesomeness coming up, including skits and webseries. You can become a fan on Facebook. And here is our first video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HaApNmgewM

10 Things to Know About the New Health Care Bill

2010-03-26T14:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/10-things-to-know-about-the-health-care-bill-99123

This American Laugh, Episode 1: A Walk in the Park

2010-03-17T09:18:00.000-07:00

The first podcast in a series. I try to have an intelligent, somber discussion about politiccs, until my friend Dave ruins everything.

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/this-american-laugh-episode-1-a-walk-in-the-park-98329

What is it About Me that Freaks Girls Out?

2010-03-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/what-is-it-about-me-that-freaks-girls-out-98017

Star Gazing: Red Carpet Edition!

2010-03-05T13:35:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/star-gazing-with-nathan-jordan-oscar-red-carpet-edition-97577

The US Better Fucking Win the Gold Medal in Curling

2010-02-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/why-the-us-must-win-the-gold-medal-in-curling-96685

What to Write in Your Valentine's Day Cards

2010-02-13T11:58:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/what-to-write-in-your-valentines-day-cards-96293

10 Super Bowl Predictions

2010-02-05T10:52:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/10-predictions-for-the-super-bowl-95885

My Shocking Confession!

2010-02-01T10:29:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/a-craveonline-writers-shocking-confession-95499

Massage Parlors: An Investigative Report

2010-01-20T10:22:00.001-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/massage-parlors-an-investigative-report-94759

Since When Did Christmas Become All About Religion?

2009-12-15T13:56:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/since-when-did-christmas-become-all-about-religion-92619

Stop Asking Me About that Time I Fell Off a Cruise Ship

2009-12-08T14:33:00.000-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/stop-asking-me-about-that-time-i-fell-off-a-cruise-ship-91881

News and Stuff!

2009-12-02T17:55:00.001-08:00

Hello all,

If there's anyone left. This site is sort of changing into my home base with links to my writing, etc. Well, there's really been no "etc," but I'll probably do a bit more with it in the coming months. Starting with this post! Yeah!

I got a pretty sweet shoutout from Drunken Stepfather (site NSFW) recently:

http://www.drunkenstepfather.com/index.php/2009/11/30/steplinks-of-the-day-477/

If you haven't been getting e-mail updates from me it's because for some reason the GoDaddy e-mail doesn't work on my home computer. Fixing it soon. If you're not on the list and you'd like to recieve even more annoying email, you can get on the list by emailing me at Nathan@whitesocksblackshoes.com. Or befriend me on Facebook. It's like getting into a Hollywood club without having to stand in line. Also, there are no drinks or hot chicks.

The big news is that I'm starting a new blog probably next week called History Schmistory. It's inspired by my Thanksgiving article. (Which I actually wrote last year.) I'll be putting History Schmistory updates on this page with all of the CraveOnline stuff.

Thanks for reading!

Nathan

The True Story of Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T14:45:00.001-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/the-true-story-of-thanksgiving-91101

The Art of Conversation Part 2- Speaking

2009-11-09T09:30:00.001-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/the-art-of-conversation-part-2-speaking-89797

Star Gazing with Nathan Jordan

2009-11-03T09:07:00.001-08:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/star-gazing-with-nathan-jordan-89269

10 Effects of the Recession

2009-10-29T16:50:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/10-effects-of-the-recession-89169

Tips For Job Hunting

2009-10-14T11:08:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/tips-for-job-hunting-87809

Tips For Halloween

2009-10-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/tips-for-enjoying-halloween-87259

Confessions of a Male Model

2009-10-02T12:01:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/confessions-of-a-male-hand-model-86867

On Open Letter to my Ex-girlfriend

2009-09-21T11:18:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-my-ex-girlfriend-85983

My NFL Preview

2009-09-15T11:58:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/live-from-soldier-field-an-nfl-preview-85539

What I Look For in a Woman

2009-09-08T09:29:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/what-i-look-for-in-a-woman-84811/2

The Big Oscar Preview

2009-08-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/the-big-oscar-preview-83151

An Open Letter to the Patrons and Staff of Tai's Til 4

2009-08-11T10:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-the-patrons-and-staff-of-tais-til-4-82661

Tips for College Students

2009-07-31T17:05:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/tips-for-college-students-81955

The Art of Conversation

2009-07-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/the-art-of-the-conversation-81089

An Open Letter to the Producers of Zima

2009-07-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-the-producers-of-zima-80405

Ways to Be Romantic

2009-07-06T12:46:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/romance-by-the-beach-80127

10 Tips to Keep in Shape this Summer

2009-06-23T11:54:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/10-tips-to-keep-in-shape-this-summer-79541

An Open Letter to the Producers of Twilight: New Moon

2009-06-16T08:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/an-open-letter-to-the-producers-of-twilight-new-moon-78931

How to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket

2009-06-10T10:19:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/how-to-get-out-of-a-traffic-ticket-78461

Tips For Surviving the End of the World

2009-05-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/tips-for-surviving-the-end-of-the-world-77433

Barknotes and Musings by Henry Bean

2009-05-19T10:32:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/barknotes-and-musings-by-henry-bean-77247

My Exclusive Interview with the Playboy Mansion IT Technician

2009-05-11T09:12:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/exclusive-interview-with-the-it-technician-for-the-playboy-mansion-76553

State Slogans

2009-04-30T15:04:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/state-slogans-75987

Five Horrible Movie Titles

2009-04-23T09:57:00.001-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/five-horrible-movie-titles-75516

My Exclusive Interview with Nadya Suleman

2009-04-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/nathan-jordans-exclusive-interview-with-nadya-suleman-75009

American Travels: Nebraska

2009-04-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/american-travels-nebraska-74591

5 Ways to Save Money in Vegas

2009-04-08T09:34:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/5-ways-to-save-money-in-vegas-74525

Star Gazing With Nathan Jordan

2009-04-08T09:33:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainment/humor/article/star-gazing-with-nathan-jordan-73935

Daewoo: The Best Korean Import Since Soju

2009-04-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.craveonline.com/entertainmenthumor/article/daewoo-the-best-korean-import-since-soju-73831

Here Come the Oscars!

2009-02-19T09:50:00.000-08:00

Sunday night, while most of you are watching The Real Housewives of New York, me and about a dozen other people will be watching the Oscars. This year the producers have decided to streamline the show, marking the 12th consecutive year producers have streamlined the show. So far, they’ve managed to get it down to about three and a half hours. This is why actors do cocaine.

And since most people don’t live within 60 miles of a theater actually showing The Reader, I’ve taken the Oscar bullet right between the eyes and have seen everything this year. Here are some of my notes from this year’s movies.... I’m sorry, from this year’s films:

THE READER: Should have received a makeup nomination for the way they made Kate Winslet’s nipples look so enormous.

THE DUCHESS: Keira Knightley almost pulls off the English accent.

THE WRESTLER: Is the first documentary to be nominated for Best Picture.

VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA: Only Woody Allen could make a film where Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz make out and nobody goes to see it.

MILK: At first I thought this was about the first openly gay man elected to public office, and then I realized that it is.

IN BRUGES: The 17th film this year to star Ralph Finnes and the one with a title that is just as hard to figure out how to pronounce as “Ralph Finnes.”

MAN ON A WIRE: I really don’t get how this was nominated for an Oscar, and Bird on a Wire was completely overlooked.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN’S BUTTONS: This really has nothing to do with Benjamin’s buttons or what in curiosity has happened to them. In fact, it’s actually called the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which I would have realized had I not been high on cough syrup that night.

FROST/NIXON: A movie about a series of interviews. Next fall look for Seacrest/Montag.

WANTED: I swear Angelina Jolie says “he’s not my son” at least once in this.

FROZEN RIVER: I like my rivers like I like my margaritas.

THE DARK KNIGHT: A lock for the new category “Film Most Likely to Actually Be Seen by People.”

KUNG FU PANDA-- If my life had a title, this would be it. Just don’t tell Chow Chow. She’ll kick my ass again.

25 Random Facts About Me

2009-01-29T10:53:00.000-08:00

1. My dream when I was young was to be a curling commentator for NBC, mostly because I only wanted to work once every 4 years.

2. Now that it’s illegal to text and drive in California, I’m thinking that my hands-free texting device is finally going to start making some money.

3. Every time I suddenly come up with an idea it’s “open a light bulb store.”

4. The other day I met a man who played water polo. I asked him how he got the horses in the pool. He never answered.

5. I was once a stand up comedian. The worst crowd I ever performed for was an audience of crickets.

6. When I was 13 I wanted to buy beer so badly that I became addicted to crystal meth, which made me look 23.

7. I’m not racist because I always ask tall black men if they play volleyball.

8. I once ate a man, and I wasn’t even in a plane crash or starving or anything. He just looked like he tasted good.

9. I’m named after Nathan Kingsley, the last of the great aviator pioneers to crash and die before the Wright Brothers became the first men to actually fly.

10. I’ve been called the Filipino James Dean of my generation (the sausage guy, not the actor).

11. Before that dance movie came out, You Got Served was the original title of my screenplay about talking tennis balls.

12. I truly believe the Mead, Five Star Binders really only deserve 3 ½ stars.

13. I coined the phrase, “She’s got the driest skin in the lotion factory.”

14. I have a truly creepy collection of Disney collector’s plates.

15. If you ask me to dance I might say “yes.” Or I might just punch you in the face.

16. I was eliminated on Top Chef last night after my “here’s a bunch of random shit on a plate” dish didn’t go over well with the judges.

17. I recently discovered a place called the “library.” It’s like a video store, except instead of porn they have books, and instead of booths where you can masturbate, you have to just do it in the open.

18. If there are three things I hate about myself it’s my tendency to overestimate.

19. I’m really into girls who think that the small stubby appendage of an unborn twin sticking out of a guy’s stomach is attractive.

20. Whenever I make a list, I always end the list five items too soon.