Thursday, February 19, 2009

Here Come the Oscars!


Sunday night, while most of you are watching The Real Housewives of New York, me and about a dozen other people will be watching the Oscars. This year the producers have decided to streamline the show, marking the 12th consecutive year producers have streamlined the show. So far, they’ve managed to get it down to about three and a half hours. This is why actors do cocaine.

And since most people don’t live within 60 miles of a theater actually showing The Reader, I’ve taken the Oscar bullet right between the eyes and have seen everything this year. Here are some of my notes from this year’s movies.... I’m sorry, from this year’s films:

THE READER: Should have received a makeup nomination for the way they made Kate Winslet’s nipples look so enormous.

THE DUCHESS: Keira Knightley almost pulls off the English accent.

THE WRESTLER: Is the first documentary to be nominated for Best Picture.

VICKY CHRISTINA BARCELONA: Only Woody Allen could make a film where Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz make out and nobody goes to see it.

MILK: At first I thought this was about the first openly gay man elected to public office, and then I realized that it is.

IN BRUGES: The 17th film this year to star Ralph Finnes and the one with a title that is just as hard to figure out how to pronounce as “Ralph Finnes.”

MAN ON A WIRE: I really don’t get how this was nominated for an Oscar, and Bird on a Wire was completely overlooked.

THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN’S BUTTONS: This really has nothing to do with Benjamin’s buttons or what in curiosity has happened to them. In fact, it’s actually called the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which I would have realized had I not been high on cough syrup that night.

FROST/NIXON: A movie about a series of interviews. Next fall look for Seacrest/Montag.

WANTED: I swear Angelina Jolie says “he’s not my son” at least once in this.

FROZEN RIVER: I like my rivers like I like my margaritas.

THE DARK KNIGHT: A lock for the new category “Film Most Likely to Actually Be Seen by People.”

KUNG FU PANDA-- If my life had a title, this would be it. Just don’t tell Chow Chow. She’ll kick my ass again.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shouldn't you declare a blog war with the following:

http://www.blackshoeswhitesocks.blogspot.com/

That website is lex luthor to your superman, Bloefeld to your James Bond.

mao qiuyun said...

jordan 4
barcelona jersey
hollister pas cher
nike free 5.0
ugg outlet, http://www.uggsoutlet.us.org
michael kors handbags
nba jerseys
ralph lauren
calvin klein underwear
air force 1 shoes
fivefingers shoes
oakley canada, http://www.oakleysunglassescanada.com
tory burch outlet
ysl outlet
air jordan 11
true religion jeans, http://www.truereligionjeanscanada.com
mulberry outlet
ferragamo shoes
kate spade handbags
moncler coats
nike free uk
michael kors outlet store, http://www.michaelkorsoutlet-store.us.com
mac cosmetics
lacoste outlet
mcm handbags
burberry outlet
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassesdiscount.us.com
kobe bryants shoes
cheap nfl jerseys
kate spade outlet
cheap toms
evening dresses
true religion outlet, http://www.truereligionjeansoutlet.com
michael kors outlet online
tiffany and co jewelry
0825maoqiuyun

chenlina said...

chenlina20160317
michael kors bags
coach factory outlet
adidas wings
copy watches
toms shoes
nike store
kate spade outlet
michael kors outlet online sale
michael kors outlet clearance
michael kors outlet online
nike trainers uk
tod's shoes
jordan 6s
replica watches
toms outlet
louis vuitton
michael kors
rolex watches
air jordan 4
giuseppe zanotti
replica rolex watches
coach factory outlet
ray bans
coach factory outlet
pandora outlet
hollister clothing
michael kors handbags
kevin durant 8
oakley outlet
louis vuitton bags
michael kors outlet
louis vuitton outlet online
air jordan shoes
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
michael kors outlet
coach outlet online
christian louboutin shoes
louis vuitton purses
as

ζž—η£Š said...

2016-4-1 leilei
new balance shoes
reebok shoes
cheap oakley sunglasses
adidas superstars
vans shoes
coach outlet online
timberland boots
louboutin outlet
salvatore ferragamo
hollister clothing store
under armour outlet
discount oakley sunglasses
burberry handbags
ugg outlet online
rolex daytona
louboutin
coach factory outlet
coach factory outlet online
michael kors outlet online
hermes outlet
converse shoes
coach outlet online
ghd hair straighteners
cheap jordans
valentino store
mizuno running shoes
prada handbags on sale
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
fitflops shoes
coach outlet clearance
polo ralph lauren outlet
hermes belt
sac longchamp
converse sale
michael kors outlet clearance
coach outlet store
michael kors bags
supra for sale
ralph lauren outlet online

ζž—δΈœ said...

birkenstocks
dior sunglasses
ray ban sunglasses discount
converse sneakers
polo ralph lauren
louis vuitton handbags
cheap nhl jerseys
adidas supercolor
kobe 9
tory burch outlet
fitflops outlet
michael kors handbags
birkenstock sandals
ralph lauren outlet
christian louboutin shoes
oakley sunglasses
true religion jeans
skechers shoes
canada goose
ralph lauren outlet online
longchamp outlet
kobe shoes
omega watches
true religion jeans
coach outlet
jimmy choo outlet
canada goose
yeezy boost 350
uggs sale
chaussure louboutin
cheap jordans
michael kors outlet online
cheap nike shoes
coach outlet
fitflop
nike free run black
0730xiong

Gege Dai said...

ugg outlet
michael kors outlet online store
mont blanc pens
nike air max 90
yeezy boost
michael kors handbags
christian louboutin outlet
rolex watches outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet clearance
ugg boots
fitflops sale
adidas outlet store
ghd uk
michael kors outlet online
michael kors handbags
coach handbags outlet
louis vuitton handbags
nba jerseys
michael kors bags
ray ban sunglasses
cheap ugg boots
cheap nike shoes
coach outlet
rolex watches
rolex watches
beats by dre
cheap ugg boots
uggs outlet
nike air force 1
hollister shirts
hermes belt for sale
nike tn pas cher
polo pas cher
longchamp outlet
nike huarache
toms outlet
ray ban sunglasses
0805jianxiang

chenmeinv0 said...

cheap mlb jerseys
toms shoes
polo ralph lauren
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
coach factory outlet
christian louboutin uk
burberry outlet
nike roshe run flyknit
hzx20170228